I am feeling very anxious about the end of the semester. I am at that precarious point where I have started everything and finished nothing. The funniest part of it is... from where I'm standing now, I should be able to get everything done and all will be well. The schedule looks reasonable. So I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. What hidden landmine will explode and sap up my time and energy? It's maddening.
It's also an invitation to trust I suppose. If I was doing this schoolwork for my own security, that would be worse. But as it is, I am undertaking these studies as formation and as a mission in the praise and service of God. In that sense I feel moved to let go of my human desire to know the future and simply do the best I can today, with the hour that is present.
I'm extremely fortunate that these are the concerns I get to live right now... when so many have more concrete dangers and insecurities. I also feel like, even in the most palapable anxiety, I am still in love with God. And God is never far from my side as I move forward. I pray He will be near to you as well.
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