Saturday, February 11, 2012

Happy Destiny

My relatively new collapsible guide cane is half my height, white, with a red tip that I use to sweep the ground ahead of me for junk people have left on the pavement and to swat at the shins of those who text while walking.  Downtown Toronto is a glowy, crowded place at night.  Seas of indistinct shapes and shadows weave in between floodlight storefronts and empty, dark alleys.

After a long day of classes, reading, and writing reports I much prefer staying most nights.  My body always feels heavy after dinner.  But fortunately, I have good friends who pester me to come and visit them. 

This particular Thursday night, some friends had planned an evening at a Pub.  I don't like Pubs either because they're darker and noisier than the streets.  But I figured my friends would take care of me.  And I was in a mood to place myself in the hands of God, letting the Spirit determine what would happen to me, rather than selfishly ensuring my security by staying in.

So I took to the open air and enjoyed the mild wintry breeze against my face.  And while there were crowds, they were happy, ambling folks who were attending to their own affairs. 

I met with my friends at Newman Center, a Catholic youth/student place near the University of Toronto Library.  S was there to greet me, a fascinating and intelligent young woman currently studying theology.  I met lots of folks at Newman but I shall not describe them all here as our paths were to unexpectedly diverge soon after I arrived. 

Seeing as I don't see to well at night, I drafted S to be my guide.  I would take her shoulder and she would lead me to our destination.  Neither of us had been to the Pub in question before but we planned to follow our group.  The group was concerned about being late, and rushed out.  S went to retrieve her coat and we went out together, only to find everyone out of sight.  We moseyed in the direction we thought the Pub was, based on the address, laughing and wondering what to do.

We were not far along when S met someone she knew.  J was a smiling and chatty young Korean exchange student, just three months into her experience of learning English in Canada.  She was with her friend A, also a Korean learning English and the two of them were late coming to the center, hoping to join the general outing.

We started walking together and S and myself told J and A that they were very welcome to come with us.  J and A agreed enthusiastically and proffered that perhaps our chance meeting was "a destiny".

I smiled and warned them that our meeting might turn out to be an Unhappy destiny, because we were lost and didn't know quite where we were going.  But it also might be a Happy destiny because we might have a nice time anyway.  J enjoyed this turn of phrase.  I think S did, too :>

I noticed that we were walking close to my community, where I and the other Jesuit Scholastics live.  So I invited S, J, and A to come in and warm themselves up while I checked the address of the pub on google maps.  We walked a good ways and then turned the familiar corner to my house.  It's a fairly large residential house (13 people live there) and J and A exclaimed when they saw the size of it.  AS I opened the door they commented that our house's address is seven, "a very lucky number".  I agreed that it was a good omen.

As soon as I got them in the parlor, I was peppered with questions about who lived in the house and why.  I offered to take J and A on the tour, S came with, smiling, though she'd seen it all before.  J kept oohing and aaahing and exclaiming at the size and novelty of it all.  Our basement has a sizable library with stained-glass windows in it, which my guests particularly appreciated.

I also showed them our chapel and was asked to explain the difference between "Priest" and "Father" which took some doing.  I made everyone tea (frantically shuffling through cupboards because this was the very first time I'd ever made tea in the house, me not being a tea drinker).  Then I got some sugary little biscuits on a plate and carted everything in.  As I was, my brothers and fathers in the house were welcoming S, J, and A and introducing themselves.  One of my brother scholastics mentioned that they were watching a movie downstairs and that all were welcome to join.

As we sipped our red-hued tea, I put the options plainly to my new friends: stay here and hang out, check out the movie... or venture forth into the dark, looking for our missing pub.  J decided that the strings of fate had pulled her to the Jez Rez and that she wanted to see what else the experience might hold.  So we headed below to the TV and discovered that it was Groundhog Day; both our present time of year and the name of the film.  J and A were most curious what a groundhog was.

I much enjoyed seeing the movie for the first time.  I'm sure its based on some existentialist novel or something... but I couldn't say which.  But I can say without giving much away that the movie fit our theme of being spontaneous and proceeding into the unexpected with an open heart.  I highly recommend you watch it if you haven't.

After the movie, we sat around and chatted.  It was interesting to our guests that each young man present was studying to be a priest.  J asked me if my parents had to call me 'Father'. 

"Only as a joke," I replied. 

J was very earnest in asking each of us why we wished to become priests.  A common enough question and my stock answer is, "I look damn good in black".  Which I do. But J asked because, she said, it seemed to her that Canada was a very family-oriented culture and that it would be hard for a young man not to get married.

I replied as simply as I could, that since I was very young, I would pray a lot, as my mother taught me.  And when I prayed, I felt that God was very close to me, like a good friend who knew me very well.  And as I grew up, I wanted to explore that more deeply, so I tried living with the priests and doing as they did for a few years.  In that time I felt very alive and joyful, so I made the commitment to become a priest. 

I am never happy being unable to convey the subtleties... but perhaps its liberating to be in a situation where I know it can never be fully conveyed and that I must trust the spirit (and J's intuitions). 

After a good talk, we all sallied forth again, it being not to late, and S and I escorted J and A to the subway, making sure they knew they could get home.  They were fine; indeed they were beaming.  J made sure to tell me that she thought our meeting tonight was a Happy Destiny and that it was wonderful we happened to be lost and they happened to be late and all the rest.

I couldn't agree more.

S had been peaceful and bemused during the whole thing and we had a good chat ourselves.  I insisted that the only gentlemanly thing to do would be to walk her home.  When we met up with the Newmanites, they informed us that the Pub had been fine but uneventful. I, on the other hand, felt that my evening had possessed and indescribable quality of freedom and lightness that I can only attribute to a prayer being answered.  I prayed that I could be open to the spirit... and so it happened.  What a gift. 

I walked home slowly on my own, guide cane making slow, sweeping arcs left and right with each step I took.  The night air felt good in my lungs and the house was quiet and serene upon my return. 

I do not know if I shall ever meet J or A again.  But I'll always remember their kindness, the playful unfolding of our time together, and our Happy Destiny.

No comments:

Post a Comment