Look upon it: and question the worth of sanity!

 

Ah, hello there.

You're wondering what this is, aren't you?

 

 I don't mind telling you it's one of the most rare
and powerful artifacts a man can possess.
Do you know what it is yet?

Indeed!  The legends are true! 
It is the mystical Swordbrella!

Yes, marvel as the stabbing sheets of rain
deflect as if rebounding off the walls of a fortress.

Now, let the power of my swordbrella saturate your soul
And wallow deeply in envy and despair!